We tend to overthink for a variety of reasons. We are held to standards we force ourselves to meet, we strive for perfection, we feel guilty, we feel insecure, and so much more. It can become so draining and all-consuming that we miss out of the best versions of our lives. And it’s difficult to see that through the chaos in your head.
While I can’t say I’m an expert, I can attest that overthinking does not help, not even in the slightest. Overthinking sucks like life out of life, it makes you think there is only one correct answer, it can send you into panic, and usually ends with you having negative thoughts.
One quote that best embodies overthinking goes as follows:
“What did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it” – Jonathan Safran Foer
Overthinking affects anyone and everyone, but when you’re young and overthink, I think it causes the greatest regret because you miss out on opportunities to understand yourself. You may have overthought yourself out of making new friends, joining a club, applying to jobs or school positions, attending a party, asking questions in class, speaking up about your interests and opinions, and so much more.
So what should you do? How can you break that cycle of constant vigilance?
Here is what worked for some:
- Keep your eyes still.
- Talk to yourself as if you are your friend.
- Journal – write down your thoughts and question if they are true
- Feel bad on purpose, stand up and yell “stop”, then direct your mind to your happiest moments. Maybe write those happy moments down.
As I said, I understand it’s not easy to stop. I don’t expect you to have completely revamped your life after this blog, but I hope it’s a step towards a life without regrets and wasted opportunities. Go to that party, that dance, attend that club meeting, be the one to start a conversation with your classmate, and do things you want to do without the judgment of your thoughts. And when you feel a sense of doubt and fear coming back, remember this:
“I can be okay without knowing everything.” – Margret Harper Nichols
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